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A bit of background before I start: I am in my early 40s, have a secure job, and have been divorced for 10 years. Until two years ago, I had never considered visiting Thailand or dating an Asian Girlfriend Thai lady. Then I met an Asian Girlfriend Thai woman here in the UK through my work. She had been in England for 10 years, married to an Irish guy and then divorced. She was sweet, loving, and kind at first, this Asian Girlfriend that drew me in to love her stories about Thailand; after a year or so, she began hitting the town often with her Asian Girlfriend friends of Thailand, partying in the city in which I was residing, staying out all night without any contact. so we broke up.
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This experience planted a seed in my mind, making me curious about visiting Asian Girlfriends in Thailand one day.
So this year in summer, I booked a three-week trip to Thailand, anxious to travel and see as much of the Asian Girlfriend country as possible. I had a few Thai female Asian Girlfriends friends on Facebook, some of whom were honest about being bar girls and asked me to pay bar fines to travel with them. But that wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to travel and enjoy the single life.
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Hi, my name's Ian, from Australia. Vietnamese ethnicity, I have been residing in Australia for 28 years. I'd never traveled out of the country before and late one night on the drinking round of the town's nightlife, a Thai guy (let's call him Pak for the story's purpose), asked me for no apparent reason, "Jay, what you doing in May? Want to go on trip to Thailand with me? Because he was traveling there more than ten times so I was ok with it he can take care of me as a newbie even without the passport or no Idea whatsoever in regards to a Country. Knowing What to Expect Not knowing, so Anticipate the bars and the girls. Find one and pay her to drink for me, I remember finding that to be really an incredible option wherein I basically spent just around the cost of two packs of cigs from home, would allow me a guarantee night in getting female companionships. Nonetheless, this really is not an offer which turned my world because at this stage; I simply more into go onto beaches eat up and good night out.
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Just before my trip, one of the girls, 27, with a two-year-old son from a previous foreign boyfriend, expressed a desire to meet me. We had some chemistry, and she assured me she never worked in a bar and lived with her parents in North Thailand. She did mention having a place in Pattaya where she stays a few months a year with her son.
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On the day I arrived, we met later in the day and spent a week together in Bangkok and then Phuket. I appreciated that she showed me so much, from temples to places to eat and drink.
After a week, she claimed to have a family emergency and needed to fly back north. I gave her 10,000 baht and paid for her flight. She promised to return soon but instead flew to Bangkok, took a taxi to Phuket to pick up some paperwork for her son, then flew back north the same day.
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For a week, I waited and explored various places, but I received only a few SMS messages from her each day. I suspected she had returned to Pattaya to meet someone, but I had no proof.
During the last three days of my holiday, we reunited and had an okay time. I met her son and her stepfather, but she didn't take me to her parents' home, explaining that she had split from her ex-boyfriend three months earlier and didn't want people to gossip.
After returning home, we've been chatting and texting daily for the past six months. She claims to be my girlfriend, but I feel like I'm being played. Over six months, I've sent her 70,000 baht. She says she needs 20,000 baht a month for her car. I've seen the car, and it's nice, but I question why she would commit to such an expense if she doesn't have much money. She says her only income comes from her parents' small business. She also spent three months in Pattaya with her son, which makes me wonder why. I Skype with them every few days, and she has around 600 guys on Facebook. She refuses to acknowledge me as her boyfriend publicly, saying she doesn't want everyone knowing her business.
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She wants to visit the UK for a month in March 2013 and insists she needs 100,000 baht in her bank to get a tourist visa. She frequently travels within Thailand—Hua Hin, Pattaya, Samui, etc., sometimes for a week or two. I feel like I know the answers but would appreciate some advice. I want it all to be true, but I have serious doubts. When I don't give her money, she gets angry and uses shocking language. Her English is very good. She admits to making mistakes in the past and says she's not perfect, but I worry I'm just one of several sponsors and not truly her boyfriend, despite her claims of love.
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I never visited Pattaya, and she kept me away from it, insisting we can go anywhere but there next year. I had an amazing time, and it wasn't my intention to meet a Thai girl. Thailand is an incredible country with friendly people, and I'd love to return.
That's my story. I would appreciate any honest feedback. I'm open to criticism but not looking for insults. I want some good, honest advice.
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The first thing one should stress when speaking about dating in the Asian context is the cultural variety hidden behind this broad term.
Asia is a huge and populous continent to hold a number of cultures with different traditions, customs, and visions of relationships and dating.
Diversity in the Cultural Approach within the Asian Community
Influences from East Asia: Histories and cultural practices run so deep in countries like China, Japan, and Korea that most often than not guide date outings. For example, the concept of "saving face" or maintaining dignity is an important influence on how relationships are approached and maintained.
Southeastern Asian Perspective: Countries like Thailand, Vietnam, and the Philippines have their version of a dating culture that mostly reflects an amalgamation of traditional values with that of Western influence, probably a reflection of their colonial history and ethnic composition.
South Asian Traditions: Arranged marriages still hold quite some sway in countries like India and Pakistan; even dating here involves a more or less serious intent of marrying the partner, driven by religious and familial influences.
Cultural Background and Dating Preferences and Styles: Family Involvement The family's seal of approval in most Asian cultures is not just a matter of etiquette; rather, it forms part of the process. It ranges from mild involvement to an active role in partner selection.
Direct vs. Indirect Communication: Most Asian cultures are indirect in their way of communicating. This may affect the way partners show love or handle conflicts. Understanding such nuances in communication is key to a harmonious relationship.
Dating Etiquette: From conservative approaches in some cultures to liberal views in others, it would be important to know one's specific dating etiquette.